A Blessingway ceremony for the birth of Zahra Nizami Shah.

On the day of our blessingway I was about eight months pregnant with Zahra my second child. I was really looking forward to this day because it truly meant so much to me to have friends and family gathered to celebrate this upcoming birth. My four year old son Zubin is a cheerful ball of energy and he loves a gathering, so he was very excited for everyone to arrive. We were also expecting my husband Sohrab's family from California. Even though this event was to be held at our home there was not much for me to do. My friends had arranged all of the details and all I had to do was a quick tidy of the house and enjoy myself. The time was set for 3:00 in the afternoon and all of the women were asked to come alone. My friend Nao who would also be my doula came early and set up things for the blessingway. First we created an alter on the floor. I have a special circular cloth that I use so we spread it out and than added our special items to it. Our sacred objects were from both of our personal alters and each had personal meaning. I laid out four tiles representing the phases of the moon. There was also three candles, white to represent maiden, red to represent mother and black to represent crone. I also added a candle that my friend and doula at the time had given me after a miscarriage. We consciously conceived Zahra two weeks and two days after losing our other spirit baby so I felt that this was a special place for it. The candle was lit on the same day as the miscarriage every week until my grieving period was over, so having this candle on the alter held a lot of meaning for me. I also had my Inanna bowl, crystals and other symbols representing my union with my partner and our son. I made medicine pouches for each of my children and I had Zubin's and this soon to be child's on the alter as well.

Nao brought her sacred crystals and feathers and layed them out in her own way. Soon the guests were arriving, tea was offered and the ceremony could begin. Nao opened up the ceremony with song and chanting. We than went around the circle and offered up our lineage: I am Nikiah daughter of Linda, who is Daughter of Pearl, daughter of.... Nao than also asked all of my friends to go around the circle and give me the seed offerings they brought. This was an emotional time. I was given a bowl to hold all of the seeds and everyone's seed was so personal. One of my friends gave me rosehips and recounted this wonderful story of the beauty of roses and the comparison of life and labour to flowers and thorns. There was not a dry eye in the room. Soon there was more singing.... "Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit!"

I was given flowers and my hair was taken down and brushed, it was than re-braided and flowers were woven into the braids I looked like a goddess!. My feet were than washed and massaged in cornmeal. I was so honored and loved that day, I wished we could do this more for our mothers and sisters. Stories were shared, tears sprang forth and more songs were sung... "Woman am I , spirit am I , I am the infinite within my soul, I have no beginning and I have no end... All this I am....."

We wove ourselves with wonderful rainbow thread brought by my dear friend Liz and sang the ancient weaving song. During the song we bound our wrists with the thread, cutting it off and tying it to each other. This represents the umbilical cord. Everyone was asked not cut them off till the baby was born and the cord is gone. After we sang more: "Sister, sister, sister let me tell you how I care. You have given me such courage and I love you so." During this time beads were given to two of the women and they made two bracelets, one for me and the other for baby. Later I put Zahra's in her medicine pouch. My friend and sacred medicine woman Hope brought some special oils and anointed my forehead and belly. Now I smelled good too! Later Nao had us all dancing and we went in turns making goddess movements and belly dancing to music in all our primal nature. Wishes and blessings were offered for my birth and for the baby. There was so much I am not sure that I can even remember it all. I know that we all went around the circle and put good energy into a special rock that I was given. I still have this rock on my alter today and every time I look at it I feel so positive. Finally we sang more and created an archway with whispered secrets and were all reborn onto the other side.

A blessingway can be as simple or as elaborate as you wish it to be. I loved mine and wish that I could have one every time I needed to make a change in my life. Some of my friends had never been to anything like this before. After the ceremony they commented on how supportive my female friends were and how they wished that they had something like this when they birthed their baby's. After the ceremony the men and children were invited for a feast. A good friend brought a whole wild Salmon and we cooked it on the grill. Salads, fresh fruit and sweets were offered and the table was full of food for the feast!. Finally we gathered again in a circle, men women and children. My husband and I were holding hands as all of the men went around the circle offering cards with blessings written on them . Some were handmade and others specially chosen. My brother and sister "in love" { in law} had gone out during the ceremony, and chosen a late wedding gift to us. This gift would prove to be an amazing and special wooden rocking chair. I read somewhere that during a Native blessingway the elder women watch the younger woman to see how accepting she is able to be of gifts and praise. It is said that if she is able to "receive" them with grace and kindness she will also be able to "give" with grace and kindness. I remembered this during the ceremony because it is so easy for us woman to not feel deserving-it is easier for us to be the givers. While my friends gave me carefully chosen seeds and words of love and praise I tried to open my heart center and take it all in. I knew that this was a personal test for me as I am not very good at receiving. I think that I must have passed! I was high on love for weeks after that beautiful day and my birth was also as spiritual and gentle as I had hoped for.

This witch poem has been passed down and around for years. It is kind of fun to read or sing at ceremonies!

Witches

Who were the witches?  Where did they come from?
Maybe your great, great grandmother was one
Witches were wise, wise women they say
And there's a little witch in every woman today
(There's a little witch in every woman today)

Witches knew all about flowers and trees
How to use all the bark and the roots and the leaves
When people grew weary from hard working days
Witches made them feel better - in so many ways

(Chorus)

Women had babies and witches were there
To help and to feed them and give them sweet care
And witches knew stories of how life began
Don't you wish you could be one? - well, maybe you can!

(Chorus)


Some people thought that the witches were bad
Some people were scared of the power they had
The power to heal and to give and to cure
It's not something to fear - it's a treasure to share

(Chorus)

There's a little witch
There's a little witch
There's a little witch in every woman today!